>SI Swimsuit Issue

>Apparently unsatisfied with the already tenuous link between women in bikinis and sports, Sports Illustrated’s 2007 swimsuit issue will make an even larger stretch, parlaying their annual softcore porn guised as fashion to include music.

Yes, the SI Swimsuit Music Issue.

Undoubtedly this issue will contain a screed that proclaims music and sports as being inexorably linked. Surely, they’ll say, what would a trip to a sporting event be without music? It will also mention that athletes use music to prepare for their contests. It’s even a question MNF frequently asks when interviewing players. Musicians also like sports. They’re connected to the point of inseparability, at least that’s what SI will tell you. Hey, and considering the greatness of Jock Jams I – IIXX (excluding XI, which was poor to fair) they may have a point

Insofar as sports are entertainment and music, too, is entertainment, there is a connection. But does that mean all forms of entertainment are linked? Can we expect the SI Swimsuit Comedy Issue or SI Swimsuit Riverdance Issue?

And it’s not like sporting events or locker rooms are the only place you’ll find music. In fact, music is fairly omnipresent — where there are people you can generally find music.

Once you get past wanting to strangle the person who came up with this ridiculous and pointless theme, you start to realize there’s a big upside. Shakira, Beyonce, Enya, Shinad O’Conner; there are some hot musicians I wouldn’t mind seeing mostly nude — except SI is such a joke of a publication that they even managed to screw that up:

The inside of the magazine features scantily clad models posing with Kanye West, Aerosmith, Kenny Chesney, Gnarls Barkley and Panic! At the Disco. A five-page spread featuring model Anne Vyalitsyna was shot at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum in Cleveland.

Kenny Chesney? I’m going to buy a magazine to look at Kenny Chesney posing with a model? Panic! At the Disco? PANIC AT THE FREAKING DISCO GETS TO BE WITH THE GIRLS WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FANTASIZE ABOUT?!!! And I’m supposed to watch?

But, SI have no fear, I’m here to save your wretched publication, with a great idea for your 2008 Swimsuit issue — and this time there is true connection with sports.

The SI Swimsuit Law & Order DA Issue. With such beauties as:


This one chick.


This other girl. She used to be a 007 girl. On the show she let McCoy do his job, always acted suprised at his mad prosecuting genius.


She’s married to former Rams/Giants DB Jason Sehorn, who proved to the NFL world that one good year and good looks can make you famous. Jason Sehorn also was in an SI issue with Jason Taylor. Not with JT, but in the same issue


I always liked this one a lot. She seemed friendly but was good at the job. You got the feeling that her and McCoy were shagging despite the age difference.


Wikipedia tells me she’s on the show now. Whatever, she’s smoking hot so in the issue she goes.


She was a mean chick, but she’s on SVU so it comes with the turf. On her first show she almost ruined the case by being a nosey-nanny. Tough gal.


I always liked this one a lot despite the quasi-Rebecca Lobo length face. Casey, I think her name was. Icy demeanor, played by the rules, always had a smug grin on her face — until one show she got shot.


And SI, I give you your 2008 Swimsuit cover.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s